(Originally Posted 10/16/15)
(Editor’s note – you’re looking at around 3,500 words so strap in)
When we last left our heroes they were in Irvine at an Airbnb. Jeff had bought a car, Carissa had accepted a job, and they had decided upon a nice 2 bedroom apartment in Costa Mesa, California. Since that is where I left off… that is where I will pick up! This is going to be a long one ladies and gents so strap in. A lot happened this week and I didn’t have the internet so I couldn’t share it with all of you! (Don’t worry, I won’t keep giving you day by day updates… only the days where things that were mildly interesting happened will be shown separately.)
SATURDAY: Saturday was the day of days. We were leaving our fun safe Airbnb… a place where everything still somewhat felt like a vacation. We were moving from Irvine to a place to call our own in Costa Mesa. For those of you who are not familiar with the geography of Southern California (like me) Costa Mesa is west of Irvine… and maybe north… I’m not really 100% sure. My confusion is only amplified by the fact that in order to get to work in Irvine I have to take 55 north to 405 south. Sounds to me like I should already be at work when I get on the first highway… I digress. The apartment is a lovely 2 bedroom 2 bathroom vaulted ceiling loft(?) with a 1 car garage attached below the kitchen/family room area. There are hardwood floors (laminate) throughout except for the bedrooms which have carpet and bathrooms which I believe have tile… not sure at the moment and not getting up to look. I would have included pictures but there is no more space for pictures on my phone… that’s also why there will be no pictures of my car when we get to that but soon I’ll make Carissa take pictures of everything and post them in her blog… if she ever makes one. So yeah, on Saturday we signed the papers and we became residents of Costa Mesa until at least October 2016! The apartment came without a fridge (as many out here do for some reason… I don’t understand it at all – it’s not like anybody is actually living anywhere without a fridge) so we went to IKEA to do some shopping. IKEA as fate may have it is only about 7 minutes from our apartment! So we did the whole IKEA experience, ended up getting a few bar stools because we have an island of sorts in the kitchen and we got a fridge that was to be delivered on Sunday! The other thing about our apartment is it does not have air conditioning (yes, this is going where you think it’s going… I’m about to complain about heat even though I moved to southern California… just move past it and laugh at my expense or something… or skip down… your call). Apparently no apartments in this area have AC because it is close to the water and usually there is no reason to need AC. But on this day it was in the high 90s (unseasonably warm we were told). Things were hot to say the least and Jeffrey was being a complainy baby (ask Carissa… I’m surprised she didn’t just kill me). So we went to CVS and got some essentials – beer, water, paper cups, paper plates, etc. and we went out to dinner. We had Mexican, it was delicious. We got home, it was terrible and hot. We had no furniture other than 2 of the 3 bar stools that Carissa had assembled and our air mattress. Life was terrible on Saturday night. We just watched Scrubs on Carissa’s phone and fell asleep on the air mattress praying for relief.
SUNDAY: (if you thought Saturday was a story… just wait) Sunday began as Saturday ended (as it often does). It was hot, we were sweaty, still didn’t have our stuff, still didn’t have the internet, still didn’t have a fridge (it was coming between 1-4 o’clock). The only good thing about Sunday was that Tom Brady was going to be on at 10am (or so I thought). You see… the funny thing about time zones is that when you’re on the west coast, football starts at 10am – provided the game you want to watch is at 1pm eastern time. What Jeffrey didn’t realize, is that Tom Brady was really playing at 4:25 eastern time… which meant he was really on at 1:25, not 10am. So Carissa and Jeffrey went to a local bar for brunch and to watch Tom Brady play the Cowboys.
I Googled “bars with NFL Sunday Ticket” and looked at some reviews and we decided to go to a place with great brunch reviews and NFL Sunday ticket. We got to this place around 9:45, buckled in and got ready for some football! I got a breakfast burger which was a burger with a fried egg on top. Carissa got some other sort of breakfast item. Then the bartenders started labeling all the TV’s with a clever “Team A vs. Team B” so you would know what TV to look at if you wanted to watch your favorite team! I liked the set-up of this place, the food was delicious… the only problem was none of the TV’s said “Tom Brady vs. Cowboys”…. NONE OF THEM EVEN SAID “Patriots vs. Cowboys.” After a quick Google search I realized that I was in fact an idiot and that the Patriots and Tom Brady were playing at 1:25 pacific time. Carissa obviously didn’t want to sit at this place for 6 hours (and understandably so, they cap the bottomless mimosas after 3 hours) so we watched the first quarter of most of the games, finished our meals, and went on our way. Carissa went out shopping and I sat in the hot apartment staring at my phone for a couple hours while she did that. She got home around 1:15 so I left to go to a less expensive place to finally see Tom. I went to a different bar, a divey-er bar, the kind of place that had $3 pints of PBR (account for California inflation and that’s pretty cheap!).
I ordered a Sam Oktoberfest before I saw the special and looked at the TV’s for my game. I was half paying attention because the game before went into OT so the Pats game wasn’t on yet when a woman stumbled towards one of the servers and said something to the effect of (and I’m paraphrasing here) “I’m feeling rather intoxicated, however my body is telling me it is time to urinate, would you be so kind and hold my beverage for a quick minute so that I might relieve myself?” I have no idea why the server agreed but she took the drink for this lady while she stumbled into the bathroom. I was only halfway paying attention to this and halfway looking at other games when about a minute later the server proclaimed “why the hell am I holding this” so naturally I looked down and made eye contact… this of course changed the course of my entire day… she looked at me and said “hey can you hold this and when they lady comes out of the bathroom just hand it off to her!” so I naturally said “like the people who hand out water during marathons?” and the server agreed.
So while I was holding this glass I kinda turned to the guy who was at the bar next to me who was texting away madly on his phone and I just said “I don’t know how the hell I got dragged into this.” Since he was smart and minding his own business I had to explain the situation to him. The woman came out of the bathroom a minute or so later and I handed of her glass and she looked puzzled for a second and kept on stumbling. I’m not sure if she was confused because this complete stranger had handed her a beverage or if it was just the general confusion she likely had going into the bathroom but she kept walking so no harm no foul.
After this episode I began talking to the guy next to me. His name was Scott. He was an average looking dude who I came to find out was 50 and a commercial airline pilot. He said he was in town on a layover and that he came to that bar that fateful day because one of his buddies was a regular there and he was trying to surprise him. He also said that a different buddy of his lived nearby and if his first buddy didn’t show up soon, this OTHER buddy (Tim) was going to pick him up and drive him around. We continued to talk and shoot the shit and eventually he said Tim was on his way but that he wanted to “take me (meaning Scott) to his (meaning Tim) damn house… I wanna go out and watch the games!” This continued into a phone call once this OTHER buddy got to the bar and eventually after Scott yelled “COME IN FOR ONE DRINK” enough, he got Time to come inside. Tim ended up sitting between me and Scott where the open seat was and he introduced Tim to me and bought a round of drinks. By this time the Patriots game had been on for a while, probably around halftime or so when Tim arrived and the day continued. Scott apparently had money on every single game that day, betting the underdog in all of them… because who the hell knows why. He obviously put money on the Cowboys which was something that Tim immediately started making fun of him for because even he knew that the Cowboys without Dez and Romo couldn’t match Tom Brady. We all hung out, talked about whatever, Scott kept buying rounds for the three of us, when out of nowhere (literally out of nowhere… dude came from like down the hall where there are only bathrooms so I assume he must of came up through the toilet… which actually made his name make more sense now that I think about it) I hear a guy yell “WHITEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” Scott turned and shouted back “SHREDDER!!!!” at the mystery man who came out of the toilet. Apparently this is the guy they had been waiting for who they had decided long ago was not coming. Once Shredder (whose real name was Tad I think) got there things escalated rather quickly. Shredder appeared to be completely in the bag when he got there and I think Scott was just trying to get on his level. They (meaning Scott, Tad, and Tad’s entourage he came with) went to a table nearby and started getting shots. Tim and I just hung out and Tim started telling me he didn’t want to come in because he knew this would happen and that he was supposed to give some girl a ride to the airport. He also said he apparently had 2 ex-girlfriends at his house and that one was crazy and the other was texting him about how the crazy one was apparently just walking around naked. Tim knew Scott because they went to pilot school together so Tim was also a commercial airline pilot and he was 52 if I recall. The Pats game at this point had become a blur in the background of these shenanigans and I lost focus on the fact that the Patriots had taken the lead. I don’t think I saw like 85% of the game I had been looking forward to all day but I saw a play or two when Scott was yelling at the TV for the Cowboys to come back and win. The game finally ended and Whitey and Tim left Shredder at the bar to go back to Tim’s house… or maybe another bar… not really sure. I was there for probably a good 3 and a half hours or so and only bought 1 beer thanks to those two so I would classify that as a great day! I grabbed two burgers to go and made the long trip home (approx. half a mile). I was so flabbergasted by what had happened that I managed to stream together a thought or two to describe the night to Carissa… quite frankly she knew right away that Jeffrey had enjoyed a few sodas and was glad I wasn’t driving.
In all this madness I had forgotten about the fridge (which did not arrive by 4:00 and came closer to 5:00 I think). The IKEA guys were nice enough to bring it up the stairs and drop it off right where the fridge was supposed to go. They didn’t unwrap it though and as it turns out it was EXTREMELY annoying to undo 4 bolts with only a Leatherman’s tool (those fold up pliers that are only about half as effective as real pliers).
After that we were desperate to find a fan so we went to Big Lots! to look. Naturally they only had heaters… because when it’s in the 90s, people clearly need heaters. There was also a Wal-Mart Market next door which is just like a super Wal-Mart but only the super part. So they didn’t have any of the normal things that Wal-Mart would have, just food (we didn’t know such things existed but apparently it’s not uncommon). We got some groceries for the fridge and a Redbox movie to watch on my laptop since we still had no internet. When we got home we just put the laptop on a barstool at the foot of the bed and watched a movie while falling asleep (it was “Focus” with Will Smith and Margot Robbie, I thought it was good… like the kind of movie you watch on a Sunday night when you have nothing to do but probably not the kind of movie you go out of your way to find). So yeah, Sunday was a hell of a day.
MONDAY: It was Columbus Day! Everybody got the day off! Except Jeff. Jeff worked. Jeff had his first day of work in fact! Since I didn’t have my car yet Carissa dropped me off at like 8:15 and I went up to start my old job in a new place! There was an itinerary waiting for me of things to do. The first items were filling out paperwork and get a tour of the building and meeting people and stuff. There were 1.5 hours allotted for this. We completed it in about 35 minutes. After that I had things scheduled in one hour blocks every hour. The second item was supposed to start at around 10 (an IT setup… I brought my computer from RI) was completed by around 9:30 since all the technology was the same, the third item was supposed to show me how to use a computer program I’ve been using for a year and a half then Lunch was scheduled for 12. It was 10. So I did what anybody in my position would do. Deleted old emails and went on YouTube for 2 hours to kill time. I went to another Mexican place for lunch, got taquitos and I think my body finally said “no more fried Mexican you moron” and I had a stomach ache for the rest of the day… Which was full of nothing by the way. I had meetings with managers and stuff to say hello and one of them wasn’t even in the office and the other had a phone call after about 5 minutes of talking to him. Either way I had met and talked to both of them already so there wasn’t much to talk about. I was told in one of these meetings that the client I was supposed to be working on all week hadn’t gone through the client acceptance procedures yet so there wasn’t much for me to do.
TUESDAY: nothing happened. Our apartment was still hot but it was starting to cool down. I bought a fan on Amazon but didn’t get next day delivery because I’m dumb. The internet router was delivered but it didn’t work so a technician had to come out but that couldn’t happen until Thursday. I watched more YouTube videos at work.
WEDNESDAY: THE POD THAT HAD ALL OF OUR POSESSIONS CAME! Carissa unpacked some of the stuff that was in the front of the POD and that she could get to. I had called a moving company to come help us unpack describing our move as “nothing is really too heavy, we just can’t do it alone… I pretty much just need a friend but I just moved 3,000 miles so I don’t have any.” So two guys who I assume were in college showed up around 5:00 to help us move everything from the POD up into the apartment. The moving company told me their rates were for 2 guys for a minimum of 2 hours. When I showed them the POD they got so pumped because they knew it would only take like 30 minutes. Sure enough about 45 minutes later they had brought everything inside and even assembled the bed for us. I gave them $160 bucks for their service and realized that if Carissa and I had done that ourselves it would have taken about 4 hours and probably would have led to a shouting match or two. So it was worth every penny to have those guys come (Mission Movers for anybody looking for movers in Orange County). We went out to dinner at this place nearby called Mimi’s Café and we realized we are probably going to become regulars there because the food was great, they served breakfast all day, and the house wines and sangrias were only $5 a glass. I got a quiche and 3 glasses of chardonnay and it was gloriously affordable!
Also I watched a video at work about the maker of 5hr Energy. I guess he’s worth $4 Billion dollars now and wants to change the earth. It was a YouTube Advertisement that led me to watch a 45min movie about him. This is the link to the trailer: https://youtu.be/se_fYZRbyJs this is the link to the Documentary:https://youtu.be/YY7f1t9y9a0 (I want that bike… and those squeezy pants)
THURSDAY: The fan I bought on Amazon came and the cable guy came and installed our internet! Carissa also did some serious work unpacking during the day which was SUPER awesome (thanks again!). My car came during the day (as foreshadowed above… I haven’t taken any pictures but I will eventually) Carissa got to drive it around while I drove her car to work. We went to a sports bar for dinner and watched Adrian Gonzales, Carl Crawford and the dodgers lose to the Mets. At work I literally couldn’t find a single thing to do… it was October 15th too… the corporate filing deadline. All I did all day was drive 5 minutes to a client to have them sign a tax return and then drive back.
FRIDAY (today): Nothing happened for most of the day. I seriously couldn’t find a damn thing to do at work. Went to lunch and had Pad Thai (which was delicious) then somebody said “heard you’re going to San Francisco on Monday” to which I replied “really? Who told you that?” That was around 12:30 and I didn’t hear another word about it after that. I had been told I might work on one of the San Francisco jobs in November but hadn’t heard anything about next week. Then at around 4:40 I am sitting at my desk, watching hockey on my computer (benefit of games starting at 7pm EST is they start at 4 pacific) when one of the managers walks up to my cube and says “so I talked to a partner in San Francisco and he wanted to know if you could help out on one of his jobs next week. It’ll just be a couple days, probably like Tuesday through Thursday or something because I don’t think they’ll have you go out on Monday since that’s really short notice. I’ve been trying to contact [the partner] for like 30 minutes but he hasn’t answered my calls or emails so I’ll let you know when I know something.” About 10 minutes later I got a phone call from the San Francisco partner telling me he wanted me to come up and help them work on something. He figured it would only take a couple days, probably three at the most but he wants me up there Monday morning. Sooooooo I booked a flight on southwest and I leave Monday morning at 6:45 to take my first trip to San Francisco! Something tells me I won’t have too much leisure time while I’m there but hey! At least I get a free trip to San Francisco!
On next week’s edition I will do my best to include pictures and videos of the apartment and car and stuff!
-JD
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