That Time I got Food Poisoning (and more!)

Fun Fact: Slurpee Machines to make frozen beverages were invented by Omar Knedlik in the late 1950s. The idea for a slushed ice drink came when Knedlik's soda fountain broke down, forcing him to put his sodas in a freezer to stay cool, which caused them to become slushy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN! (and Sarah I guess… but your birthday is old news now)

Hello!  It’s me!  I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be!  When we we’re younger… and freeee… (that’s enough Adele for one post).  So it’s been a couple of weeks.  I was busy last week and I figured if I just texted my mom instead she would know I was alive so I wouldn’t need to make any more coherent words.  So yeah last I posted I was mentioning that we had gone to beerfest and that Carissa’s family was stopping by so I will fast forward to Thursday when they got here (since nothing really happened last week that I can remember).

We Carissa cleaned the shit out of our apartment because the Pope Carissa’s mom was coming to visit.  On Thursday I was given a short list of things to finish before Carissa arrived from LAX with guests.  They arrived around 10pm or something and we pretty much just caught up and said our hellos and went to bed.  Friday I went to work and they went to Newport Beach to get the full California experience.  Friday night we pretty much just hung out if I recall, they went to dinner and I went to a work party where I got a bottle of bubbly Moscato as a Yankee swap gift.  It only exploded twice in the process of opening and pouring it and I almost shot my eye out with the cork only once.

So Saturday morning we took off for northern pastures and decided to give Carissa’s mom (Rhonda) and Carissa’s Grandma (Gram) an authentic look at Venice Beach and Santa Monica in Los Angeles, California.  Now if you don’t know what Venice Beach is the only way I can describe it is the place where beautiful beach, meets a crazy amount of drug addicts, meets street performer’s, meets lots of tourist shops.  It is probably a must see for your first time in LA (granted I haven’t seen all of LA and there are most likely plenty of things to do that are better) but for my money (free… plus the cost of parking) it is a great way to spend an afternoon people watching and enjoying the beach.

This is a picture of Venice Beach I found on the internet... I didn't take any myself

While there we saw a couple people perform, we looked at some of the art made out of various different mediums and Rhonda and Gram bought some souvenirs.  From there we drove down the street (about three miles) to Santa Monica Pier.  There are lots of fun facts about Santa Monica Pier that I don’t remember but my guess is the pier from Rocket Power is based on the Santa Monica Pier.  We just walked around the pier and took in the sights again before heading back down to Costa Mesa for dinner.

I also did not take this picture of Santa Monica Pier because I do not yet own a helicopter... but I'm working on it.

Sunday we tried to go to Knottsberry Farm which is both a farm AND an amusement park (it’s essentially like Six Flags).  Turns out that was really expensive!  So instead we went to San Diego!  We walked around the seaport and midway areas and eventually worked our way over to Coronado Island.  We stopped for an early dinner and walked over to Hotel Del Coronado.

I did take this picture of Hotel Del Coronado - you can tell because Rhonda and Carissa aren't facing the camera.  Candid shots only.

You may recognize it from some movie back in the day that may have had Marilyn Monroe and some other actors in it.  Gram remembered the movie but somehow I don’t remember it.  Anyway going to this hotel actually got me in the Christmas and holiday mood because they had a damn ice rink going on in the back court area of the hotel.  So there was literally an ice rink less than 50 feet from the beach.  Why that got me pumped for Christmas I have no idea but I thought it was amazing that the ice rink was there and it was probably mid-60’s and I took 3 steps and was standing in the sand.

The ice rink at Hotel Del Coronado.  Just beyond those palm trees is the beach.  As you can see there is a bit of a lake in the middle of the ice rink but the fact remains that having an ice rink in San Diego when it's in the high 60's is still pretty awesome.

So after we left San Diego we headed back to Costa Mesa and I went to a local watering hole to watch the Patriots play the Houston Texans.  So when I walked into this place I could tell it was unlike any other time I had been there because there was actually music playing and people inside.  Usually it’s like 5-10 middle aged men who are watching football but this time there was only like 5 of those and the rest were people in their 20's and maybe 30's who were watching football and hanging out and playing pool.  So I sat down and some dude I’ve never seen came over and poured me a beer.  I could tell in one second that this man had been drinking all day, if not longer.  I got about ½ beer and ½ head (the foamy part on the top).  Seeing that he was handing me that half full beer I decided I would take a quick bathroom break just to let it settle so my first drink wouldn’t be all foam.  I came back and he realized what had happened and filled it up the rest of the way.  Needless to say I was thankful but it was really foreshadowing what the rest of my night was going to be.  So I made a joke to the guy next to me about how drunk the bartender was and he confirmed my suspicions that that specific bartender didn’t even work there and that he was the brother of the real bartender… who at that time walked up… and she was just as drunk as the other guy.  So I talked to this bar stranger and he explained that this was a unique situation and how the real bartender doesn’t usually drink (which given the establishment I was at is actually a surprise) but tonight she was really drunk. 

Usually during patriots games I try to pace myself with drinking because even though I walk to the bar I don’t want to go too crazy (having work on Monday) and I don’t want to spend too much money (even though it’s $4 drafts – which is why I go to this place in the first place).  This Sunday moderation was not an option.  I had about 1/3 of my first beer left and the bartender came over and gave me a second beer instructing me to “drink faster” a command that I initially laughed at but then decided I would obey.  This practice repeated itself to the point that I was concerned about whether I was getting charged for all of these unwarranted beers making a joke to the other bar patron that my bill was either going to be $2 or $2,000 the way the night was going.  So a few beers (maybe 5-6 total?) and four quarters of football later I was feeling pretty good and ready to head home.  I asked for my bill and to my surprise the damage from all of those beers came to $8.  I gladly tipped 100% - making my total $16 for what would normally have been $24 worth of beer (not to mention the shot of Jameson that was slid my way… obviously I didn’t ask for it).  So on the way home I was feeling hungry and I stopped at Alejandro’s, a 24 hour Mexican food restaurant about 100 yards from my apartment.  I got a California burrito and life was great… or so I thought… more on that in a second.  I walked into the apartment and the end of Silver Linings Playbook was on TV and everybody was watching.  We hung out and I caught the end before bed time.

The next morning I woke up to what I assumed was a bit of a hangover, said our goodbyes to Rhonda and Gram and went off to work.  As the morning went on I started feeling worse instead of better.  My stomach had been upset and I had to go to the bathroom too much for it to be only from drinking.  That’s when I remembered the burrito and the questionable yelp reviews Alejandro’s had received.  After about 1:00 I realized I wasn’t going to make it through the day and I decided to leave early.  About 5 minutes from home I felt it.  That feeling we have all felt at one time or another.  I knew I was going to puke.  I made an agreement with my body that if I could hold it in for 5 minutes, I could throw up in the comfort of my own bathroom, rather than on the side of the road.  My body obliged and I made it home, puking about 3 minutes later.  This is pretty much when I figured I was clear from this being alcohol induced and that this was more of a sinister food poisoning situation.  I tried to fall asleep on the couch and I was doing a good job until I was awoken by another bought of puking that my body did not cooperate on… I puked about 3 feet shy of the toilet… it was on the wall… but not nearly as bad as the last time I puked on the wall (sorry Brian).  Luckily for Carissa this was a case of sober Jeff puking from food poisoning, not drunk Jeff puking from being an idiot.  So I cleaned it all by myself and she wouldn’t have even noticed if I hadn’t told her, or left the cleaning supplies in the bathroom, or if I had done a good job cleaning.

This is where this post would have ended if I had written it on Monday of last week… but unfortunately I didn’t so I have another brief section about going to Oakland.  Sorry Grandma (she said I should post shorter blog posts because she’s 85 years old and doesn’t have that much time left… which was really funny because she’s healthier than I am and she’ll probably outlive me… I love you grandma!)

So anyway – this week I went to Oakland for an audit of a hotel.  I was supposed to leave Tuesday morning at 6:45am but due to the whole food poisoning thing I changed my flight to noon hoping a good night’s sleep is all I would need.  When I woke up I felt a little better but I wasn’t 100% yet.  So I sucked it up and boarded a plane knowing I wasn’t contagious and flew up to Oakland.  I got to the hotel around noon and after I was offered food 5-10 times I finally ate the pretzels that were provided on the flight… first solid food in about 36 hours.  It went down ok and actually made me pretty hungry so I had a burger afterwards and everything was good.  We left the audit and I checked into the hotel and went up to my room where I fell asleep around 7:30pm.  It was glorious.

Hotel audits are pretty awesome because they’re not overly challenging and you get to stay in the hotel that you’re doing the audit of.  So it’s literally like you’re working from home… only you have to wear pants.  So I stayed on the 7^th floor and the conference room we were working in was on the 2^nd floor which meant my morning commute consisted of walking out of my room to the elevator (about 10 feet) and taking the elevator to the 2^nd floor.  Then I had to walk kind of far to the conference room.  On the way was the breakfast area though so I got to stop for breakfast on the way.  All and all I would say it was a pretty cool experience being able to audit the hotel I was sleeping in.  As for the city of Oakland I did not see much.  I walked about two blocks in every direction at night (starting Wednesday night when I was on a more normal diet again).  Thursday I went back to being a normal human who ate solid food and my life felt rejuvenated!  I flew home Friday and Carissa and I hugged and high fived to celebrate another successful return of Jeffrey from the San Francisco Bay area!

This weekend we went to Joshua Tree to go camping!  What’s a Joshua tree you may be asking?  They look like this:

This is a stock photo of a Joshua Tree!  The pictures I took are now on Facebook in an album called "Joshua Tree"

I don’t recall actually seeing any of these but we had a lot of fun.  We met a group of people there that we had never met before but also belonged to the same “orange county transplants” group we joined.  We met some cool people that were also from New England and we all talked about how we were freezing even though it was probably in the low to mid 40's (that’s what happens when you get cocky about the warm temperatures and leave all your winter clothes at home when you move cross country).  So we went for a few hikes during the day and one at night after the booze started flowing.  I’m happy to report no injuries.  We (Carissa and I) shared a tent and slept comfortably (except for the fact that I forgot my keys were in my pocket and just assumed the ground was uneven - when I finally realized I could get rid of the lump by taking my keys out of my pocket things got more comfortable).  I will post 3 or 4 pictures on Facebook so you can see the wonder of hiking in Joshua tree so go look for those if you have any interest!

Minor notes, we survived our first earthquake!  I would equate it to somebody pulling up too far in the garage and hitting the wall very softly.  Or what it was probably like if a T-Rex was approaching.  I saw the ripples in my glass of milk and immediately had to figure out if I should hide due to Jurassic era danger approaching.  Luckily it stopped after about 3 seconds and everything was cool. 

It is December 21^st right now (happy birthday again Bri Guy) and I don’t know where the hell the month went.  I hope you all had a Happy Hanukkah and I hope you all have a Merry Christmas on Friday.  We will be making a brief appearance back up in RI from 12/31 to 1/3 so if you are around text us and we’ll let you know where we are! (We won’t have a car so at least for this visit it’s on you to come to us)  We are also going to the Winter Classic at Gillette while we’re home but that’s at least one or two blog posts away.  Until then, from all of us here in Costa Mesa, may your poops be plentiful!