Looking back, I guess this post is about a hill...

Fun Fact: There are 118 ridges around the edge of a Roosevelt dime, 119 ridges around the edge of a quarter, and 150 ridges around the edge of a Kennedy half dollar.

So as mentioned last week I was imported to San Francisco again this week to help out on one of the jobs I’ve been working on.  Like last time there was not really much opportunity to see very much of the city but I did witness a few things in my week there that are blog worthy (by this point I’m sure you’ve realized that there is very little that is not “blog worthy”).

I took this picture before work on Wednesday, before I walked down the hill... more on that soon.

So Monday morning I boarded an aircraft at 6:45am and immediately fell asleep.  I don’t think I was even awake for takeoff.  When I woke up we were descending towards San Francisco airport.  That right there is the definition of a great flight (I did however miss my opportunity to get a ginger ale, my drink of choice in the air).  From there I took the BART to the office and got going on what promised to be a week full of long hours and expensive meals.  I don’t remember what time I left on Monday, my best guess is around 7pm.  I knew what hotel I booked and I had a GPS to get me there… what I did NOT have however was a topographical map of San Francisco.  Topographical maps are the maps that show the elevations of different areas as shown below:

Now I’m sure most of you (like me) when you think about San Francisco you think of the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, the “Full House” House, and maybe this road…

The sad reality is that’s not just like a joke road that somebody made… they wanted a road there but the hill was so damn steep that they couldn’t do it without making it look like a little kid scribbling some schematics for the construction company charged with building that unfortunate bit of infrastructure.  So back to how this effected me on Monday.  It came time to leave work and I grabbed my gym bag that was packed to the brim with my clothes for the week (I did not have a traditional rolly bag for a carryon because I think I’m hot shit and I can carry a bag without wheels).  So this time I stayed at a hotel on California Street known as “Stamford Courts.”  Last time in SF I stayed at an Airbnb on Post St that was not up nearly as big a hill (still up a hill, just more of a gradual hill) so I had no idea what I was in for.  Below I have highlighted my route as well as the points of interest in the following story.  Keep in mind that the entire trip was only about a half a mile.

A - This is where the Marcum office is in San Francisco.

B - This is where the Stanford Court hotel is (where I was staying for the week)

So back to me leaving the work on Monday to head to the hotel (the other points of interest will be explained shortly).  I left work with my backpack on my back and my gym bag over my shoulder.  I headed down Montgomery Street toward California Street where out of nowhere CRACK! BOOM! TERRIBLE NOISES! (see the red/white starburst above) the clip that connects the strap to the bag broke.  Now I’m thinking “this isn’t a big deal, I’m man enough to carry this bag draped over my shoulder, I’m man enough to carry it by the handles” so I pressed on - holding this 35lb gym bag by its handles.  I turned the corner at California street and as you can see, still not really very hilly, I’m still listening to my headphones and excited to get home so I can go for a run.  Then I start going up the hill toward point C. As you can see there is a slight increase in the elevation of the street before point C but at this point I am still confident, it’s just a hill, it’s not a big deal.

View up the hill from Point C toward point D:

Now I am standing at point C… still confident… still trucking along towards point D.  Then I go the two blocks up that hill to point D.  When I get to point D I realize that I am standing at the bottom of a HUGE friggen hill.  Which makes no sense… because I just walked up a HUGE friggen hill.

View up the hill from Point D towards point E:

Now I am standing at point D.  Confidence Broken.  My gym bag felt like 15lbs when it was over my shoulder, 35lbs when the strap broke, and now at point D I am holding what I believe is a 50lb gym bag.  Not to mention that I have the backpack with my work stuff on my back which by itself is causing some perspiration due to the lack of cool air between my back and backpack.  I am staring up the hill - not knowing how many more hills lie between me and this hotel that will hopefully be greeting me with a swimming pool, massage table, beers, steaks, etc. (spoiler alert, none of those were waiting for me).  I start walking towards point E and I am passing people who are also walking up the hill.  I am really just rallying at this point because I just want to get to the top of the hill and have it all be over.  Once I get to point E I found relief.

View up the hill from Point E towards the finish line:

I think by now you get it… I walked a half a mile and walked up the equivalent of 35 flights of stairs (according to the FitBit).  So I finally arrived at the hotel and at this point I must have looked like a broken man.  There was literally sweat rolling down my face and I was doing my best to wipe it off but I was fighting a losing fight.  I went to the front desk and told them I was checking in.  The lady at the front desk was avoiding looking at me as much as possible for obvious reasons and I was pretty much trying to catch my breath.  After a minute I broke the awkward silence by joking that the strap on my bag broke and I just walked up the hill from Montgomery street… which I guess wasn’t really a joke… I just said it in a joke-y way.  She laughed and said that she usually takes an uber to work and walks home and she only lives a mile away and she offered me a bottle of water.  Once I got to my room I took my shirt off to assess the damage and I am actually upset I did not take a picture because there was a clear outline of where my backpack was, clear outline of where my shirt was tucked into my pants, and cleeeeaaaaaarrrrrrr stains in the armpit region.  Before I told her I had walked up the hill I’m not sure how that lady hadn’t called for an ambulance because I must have looked like a serious mess.  I took about 10 minutes to cool down then I decided that since I was so sweaty I might as well just go to the gym - so I did.  Ate dinner at a 24hr diner because there was nowhere else open at 11:30 after I got home and showered and headed out to work on Tuesday.

TUESDAY rolled around and I worked a long time.  The biggest story from Tuesday is that I had a conversation with Carissa about ISIS and the attacks on France and whatnot which I can sum up in the following two points: 1. If you’re an extremist of any kind you need to take a step back and think about what you’re doing - this doesn’t just go for religious extremists, either.  Like if you’re the kind of person who goes to sports games in full body paint, if you’re the kind of person who spends all their disposable income on one thing (pimping out your car, etc.), if you're the kind of person who checks the box on the voting slip to just vote straight democrat or straight republican… what the hell are you doing?  Open your mind, take a step back, think for a minute.  Point 2: if you’ve ever thought that solving anything with violence was the right thing to do - you’re pretty much just wrong.  Outside of defending freedom, keeping peace, or if you’re actually paid to fight (boxer, MMA, etc.) if you’re fighting or trying to hurt somebody… chances are you’re wrong.  ::Mic Drop:: Also I found out my hotel had a 24 hour gym on Tuesday so I didn’t have to walk the half mile to the gym on Monday night.

WEDNESDAY I worked more, didn’t really do much else but while I was walking to dinner I walked past a homeless woman who was cutting her hair on the street when I was on my way to dinner around 9:45pm.  The place I went stopped serving food around 10 and closed at 11 so I was walking back up the hill to the hotel at 11:05 maybe and the same person was in the same place but her head was shaved and she was like looking in a mirror to see if she missed a spot.  So in the hour I was getting dinner she managed to go from trimming her bangs with scissors to full on shaved head a la Britney Spears circa 2007.

THURSDAY I kept on trucking through work.  At night I went out to dinner and had steak, potatoes, beer and warm seasoned peanuts - all the makings of a dinner that was fancier than I was prepared for.  Also the restaurant was called the Big Four (little accounting humor there... very little).  Everything on the plate was delicious and there was a lady playing piano so I felt like I was living the classy life at its finest.  This is a picture of my plate, as you can see it was a dimly lit restaurant to add to the ambiance.

So as I was leaving the restaurant I witnessed another person's interaction with a homeless person.  Keep in mind I had headphones in but I’m pretty sure what I witnessed was a homeless guy ask a person who was smoking for a cigarette.  As expected, I believe the guy said something like “sorry man, this is my last one” and gestured to the one in his mouth that he was already smoking.  Then I have no idea what the hell the homeless guy managed to say in one sentence but it just looked like he said something like “comeeee onnnnnnnnn” and the guy took the cigarette OUT OF HIS MOUTH and gave it to the homeless guy.  Baffling to say the least.  The guy even stopped to re-lite it for the homeless guy after giving it to him.

So I got back to the hotel right after this cigarette situation and remembered that I had a $30 coupon thing to use at the bar (they gave it to me day one… it might have been because my room wasn’t ready or it might have been because it looked like I was detoxing pretty bad).  So I sat down to grab a beer before going to bed and while looking at the drink menu I noticed there was an item called “Johnny Walker - Blue Label………. $40.”  I thought to myself WWBDDHWPOTJWBTMUARAI (What Would Brian DeLuca Do? He Would Probably Order The Johnny Walker Blue Then Make Up A Rhyme About It) so that’s just what I did.

I got a Johnny Walker Blue on the rocks (although Brian probably would have gone neat).  You might be asking what Johnny Walker Blue is and if you are I will simply tell you to look for it next time you’re at the liquor store.  I believe the going rate is around $250 a bottle.  That being said I felt like a champion for a few minutes and it tasted like what I would imagine rainbows and unicorns would taste like.

FRIDAY I worked again, left and jumped back on a plane to come home.  When I got home I saw Carissa and we high five'd and said “Hey! Missed ya!” then we went out to dinner at a bar down the street called “Social”…. It’s like SoCal with an “i”.  It was an aright place, the burger I had was amazing but the most notable part of the whole hipster bar was that “The Labyrinth” starring David Bowie was playing on all of the TV’s in the bar.  I don’t remember if I like that movie or not, I do remember that it was one of the weirdest movies I’ve ever seen, and I did appreciate that it was on TV at a bar.  Social was however pretty expensive and I don’t really know if we will go back.  That’s your new restaurant update of the week!

SATURDAY was just like every other day this week… I woke up and went to work (seriously… I put in close to 65 hours this week) and left around noon-ish so that we could go to the beach! In November! Aaaaaaaaand it all makes sense why we moved here.

So yeah, we spent the afternoon at the beach and went to a couple breweries at night.  Today is Sunday and we have pretty much been hanging out all day since there is not football on.  Next week we will be live from Vegas for Thanksgiving.  Everybody enjoy your Thanksgiving and from all of us here at Wallace Courts, may your poops be plentiful!